Not Enough

These last few days, I haven't been enough.

I got a D on a bio test. I needed an A. 

I didn't go to church and missed my nursery shift.

I didn't show love to my dog as much as I could before she passed away.

I broke my laptop, with no idea how to fix it (although a friend is trying), and finals are around the corner.

I found out textbooks are going to cost close to $300 for next semester.

On a phone call from home, I listened as a concerned family member questioned my weight and eating habits.

I've been staying up really late and waking up late to get to work.

Today, I especially wasn't enough. 

I don't have my own vehicle to get me where I'm expected to be.

At the doctor's office, I found out I gained forty pounds in the last six months. 

I almost passed out getting blood drawn, as whatever is causing my headaches and other health issues still hasn't been figured out.

I got the call those results were normal, so we still don't know what's going on. 

I had to get my insurance renewed, by proving I don't make enough to qualify for any other insurance.

I'm currently typing on a laptop the size of a textbook, running Windows XP.

I knew I had gained weight... but part of it wasn't real until I renewed my license today, and had to tell them I weighed fifty pounds more than my license currently says.

I forgot to bring home clothes from school, forgetting I don't have any pants here. 

The pants I did find? No longer fit. 

As I looked in the mirror, trying to figure out what to wear to see family tomorrow... I knew I wasn't enough. 

Although I was avoiding soda the last few weeks, it wasn't enough.

Although I walk everywhere in town, it hasn't been enough.

Although I sleep eight hours a night, that still hasn't been enough.

Although I washed/moisturized/medicated my acne, it hasn't been enough.

Although I try to eat healthy on campus and not snack, it hasn't been enough.

Although I try to act like I don't care about my weight or what I look like... it hasn't been enough.

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At this point, my religious upbringing chants with memorized phrases of comfort. From God being enough for me to being made in His image. That I can't do anything on my own strength anyway, and I need God in order to do all things. That if I pray more, devote more, have more self control, then it would be enough. That God has a plan in all things. That I am more than my outward appearance or how others see me. That beauty is from the heart and not the flesh. 

While these phrases have a purpose in various times, I don't think these lessons are the one's God has for me, this moment. He has taught me them before and some will surely come again. Yet in this moment... it's a different lesson. A new perspective.

So often, our feelings are given a moral compass. That to be sad or mad is bad, happy and excited are good. Perhaps your upbringing even went to assign a spiritual aspect to your feelings. Such as when one is joyful or content, then they are obviously right with God. Or when feels insecure, depressed, or inadequate, then a crisis in their faith is evident. 

But does this have Biblical evidence? Is this line of thinking routed in Truth, or has it been society's way of corralling the masses for the benefit of many?

As I felt inadequate, an accompanying feeling of guilt washed over me. In a way, my mind was assigning a moral standing to my feeling as being wrong and sinful. This led to the feeling of guilt and its subsequent need to absolve such feeling by way of forgiveness and change. Yet is this the right response to my realization of not being enough?

As I search the Scriptures (and encourage you to do - don't just take my word for it, but seek it out yourself), I find psalms where the writer feels inadequate. Where he questions God, pleading with him. Making his case that surely he has done enough, surely life should be different... but as the tone portrays, all is not well. His actions have not been enough. 

Let me pause here and clarify an aspect. 

We are all sinners. So yes, we are not enough to save ourselves from the punishment of sin, which is death.

Yet....

God created us. As Psalm 139 says, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. So in this way, we are worthy of God's saving grace, yet also undeserving because of our sinful nature.

I am not saying I am inadequate. My identity is not inadequacy, my identity and soul are enough. 

What I propose is to affirm and validate feelings of inadequacy. Feeling as though you are not enough. 

The Psalmists, as one continues to read, displayed every emotion one can think of. From peace, joy, and praise, to sadness, anger, love, and depression... guilt, nervousness, shame, honor, romance, comfort... the list goes on and on. Each emotion, every feeling, is valid in its own right. As I learned this last week in class (conveniently called Motivation and Emotion... Thanks, God), emotions serve an evolutionary purpose to tell us when something is right and when something is not right. When things are going okay, or when things need to change. In this, a feeling is never wrong - at times it may be inaccurate, but there is always a reason you are feeling the way you are feeling. Whether its a misconception, messed up hormones, or actual wrongdoing, emotions tell us something needs to change. God gave us the gift of emotions, so why would some be morally reprehensible?

I also propose, as I just realized... That although my actions are not enough, I need to not let that define who I am in my being. 

The truth is (as evident by my weight gain), I haven't been eating right. I haven't been exercising how I should. My actions have not been enough to maintain a healthy body and continue to fit into my clothes.

However, my actions do not determine my worth. My enoughness. God already determined how valuable I am to Him when He sent His son to the cross. 

So even though I was not enough today, I am still a Daughter of the Risen King. 

He cradles me as I cry in my feelings, allowing me to learn this valuable lesson from Him. Because feelings are not wrong. Feelings are valid. They are a tool to be used rightly for interpretation and learning, because without my feelings of inadequacy, I would not learn this lesson today.

My distinction of actions and soul would not be so evident.

The defining factors in my worth would not be so clear. 

I am motivated to change my unhealthy habits and work to take care of my body, just as Christ desires for me to care for myself and my body. 

And a blog entry is a wonderful method to think clearly and put Truth back into perspective.

Present from Heaven

  God gave me gift today.

I know He does this all the time for me, from a beautiful sunset to my car running how it should. He keeps me safe and healthy and while if you were to ask, I would tell you He is there for me. That He loves me.

 I'd been ignoring His gifts, the wonderful gifts He kept trying to lavish and love me with. I let sadness and grief overtake me I desired for a Godly man to take the place of Christ.

Yet He continued to pursue me and in one moment, I was blessed beyond imagine.

A few weeks ago, I had reorganized my room and found, under my bed, an unmarked CD. Figuring I'd check it out later, it has sat on my dresser since then, when today, after a crying session, God knew what I needed to hear from Him.

My IPod sat playing on shuffle as I slid the disk in. As the files loaded and the first pictures skipped across my view, this song played:

The first time I truly heard this song... was in the middle of a field, just God and me. I remember taking my shoes off and dancing with Him underneath the stars, the dew slicking my feet as I spun around in the grass. I was reminded of the intimacy no man can ever establish, this intimacy I can experience with my Lord and Savior that is sufficient for all days.

I was reminded of how my Father and my Lover think of me. As I saw the pictures of me, I heard God saying how beautiful I really am and how proud He is of my endeavors and growth over the last few years. I felt His forgiveness as my soul rushed back to the embrace of my Lover, the one who sees me as constantly beautiful and His beloved.


While I vaguely remember having these photos taken (and I laugh because at the time I wasn't even considering Cedarville), I had truly forgotten about them. God knew when I would need these photos again, He knew the perfect moment to bask me in His love, to remind me of my beauty, and His grace for me.


Not everything will be perfect. I may even cry again tonight, but I am firmly reminded of the hope in me by Christ. The struggles aren't gone. I still lack community and deep friendships to thrive within, but my trust in Christ remains as I continue to pray and seek His guidance in these things. He's reminded me He is always there, no matter how isolated and alone the enemy attempts to make me feel.

May all the praise and glory be His and my actions serve to further His name, for there is no greater thanks I can give towards Christ in response to the glorious gifts He has granted me than for others to experience an intimate relationship with Him.

Thanks, God

2015

A year's gone by. I am so amazed by all the wonderful, crazy happenings and events of the last year.
Right off the bat, I was headed to Uganda and Kenya for two months of uncertainty, God's grace, and miracles. What remains with me the most is how vast God's creativity and glory is. How we can all experience Him, and how there is not only one way to worship and glorify His name. It was here I first remember recognizing my love for urban ministry and truly embarking on the journey I'm on today.
After my graduation from YWAM, I found myself working two months or so back at Dairy Queen, where I had been for about three years. I can honestly say I can't pinpoint any specific memories of those shifts, but I remember being back to worship at my home church, being able to help out at the Faith Bible Camp retreats, and my sister's graduation from high school. I volunteered at a local library, starting what I think may be my longest lasting project as I continued, today, with assigning genres to every book in the collection. During this time, I focused on just being with God and what that was like in the everyday world. I was able to serve and help those around me, because I had only a few commitments. It was a time of rest and peace for me, which I didn't fully take advantage of because only God knew what the next ten weeks held.
The end of May through August 1st, I lived in Rolla, Missouri working at Camp David of the Ozarks. As a support staff leader, I worked all day with six hours of sleep a night, and barely enough time to myself to take a shower. Halfway through the summer, I was blessed by another member joining our team, who was able to supervise my staff for an hour or so a day so I could get some alone time. I honestly saw him as a complete angel from God, because without this extra person, I would have gone absolutely crazy, but God provided exactly what I needed. That was probably the biggest lesson of my summer, that God is always there and He will always provide. In the midst of lice and bed bugs (both of which now eradicated), two horses passing away, broken showers and washers and dryers, almost not having a nurse a few weeks, mowers and other equipment breaking, pipes in the dish room backing up due to grease build up, getting chased by a snake, plus a few other surprises I'm probably forgetting, God was always there to give patience, health, ideas, wisdom, a person, a need, among so much else that only he could have provided and cared for. I learned I definitely was not doing my jobs based on my strength, but based on God's. I also learned that He will place me exactly where I am needed, because this summer was the first summer camp ran across lice, and I happened to be a lice expert, having combed through my own hair and my sister's many a time when we were younger and other various instances, when no one else had even seen the annoying little critter before. This is only one example of a time when I saw a unique strength of mine be needed and was able to use it to help the camp function and achieve our goal of reaching children of prisoners, so I know God meant for me to be there.
Recently, since August, things have been slow. Well, slow for me anyway. My first semester of community college went by easily, as I finished with a 4.0 for the semester. I'm working at the college library and continue to babysit, as well as work nursery at Mom 2 Mom and volunteer with Junior High ministry. I've been counseling the retreats at camp and recently helped plan a college retreat, the second one camp has had. Personally, I am starting to learn what it means to initiate spiritual conversations and to be responsible for my own growth and faith, to seek out challenge and help. In this, I sought to find a college ministry, but have not yet in my area. I also prayed for a mentor and God provided me with a fantastic woman who has been challenging me to answer the real questions and to see my true self in the mirror. I'm learning to be diligent in my devotions and self disciplined, because quiet time in life isn't mandated by the world or structured into the schedule.. I have to set aside time for God, and it can be so easy to let other things get in the way.
As I think on to this next year, I hesitate to even reflect on what little plans I do have, because I know how quick and positive God can change them. Currently I am scheduled for spring semester at Carl Sandburg College, and I have the intent to transfer somewhere else next fall, to study Urban ministry/studies and social work. I don't know what college yet, but I currently have 11 applications out, so something should come through! With summer, I am waiting for a yes or no answer to an application I sent to a Christian organization that does work in urban cities all over the United States. I have undergone the second interview and will find out after the holidays of my acceptance or not.
The overarching theme of the last year, in my life, has been relationships and community. I started out the year fearful of friendships and of people, waiting for them to give up on me or lie to me because of some instances that happened near the end of 2014. I didn't want to trust anyone or give them a piece of my heart, because it could so quickly and without warning be lost. I had to learn this wasn't a reflection on me, that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I learned to be confident in how God made me and in my Savior and the Spirit's guidance. I learned that relationships come and go, that personalities are different and that means all relationships will look different. While I wish I had a friend that dated longer than a year or two, I'm at peace with it and don't blame myself. Some people come and go in life, following the plan God has for us all.
3 countries and 9 states (I think) later, 2015 comes to a close. I can't even begin to imagine what will happen in this next year and don't have a clue about where I will be a year from now, but I am excited for a continuation of the journey Christ is leading me on.
Thank you for all of your continued prayers!
Merry Christmas, and a Safe and Happy New Year

Victoria

Best Version of Me

I first realized it when I ended up hanging out with a couple of my sister's friends. Actually, I didn't even notice it. She called me out on it.

Another time was with a few fellow leadership members. Although I noticed that time, I saw the others doing it, too.

As I think back, I struggled with seeing others do this. A leader I knew from camp would perform this way, and it left me with a deep sense of distrust and confusion.

You see, sometimes people act different in different settings. With my sister's friends, I was making inappropriate jokes and laughing with them to fit in. Leaders and I were acting in ways we never would have acted around the kids. A leader from camp would be mentoring kids during the day, but at night would tempt me to do things I shouldn't. We have all these versions of ourselves. It's no wonder teachers and parents are surprised at a child's actions, but the child's friends predicted it happening long ago.

As a Christ-follower, we need to continually have our thoughts and actions reflect Christ. Christ is constant - He doesn't change his values based on who He is around, He doesn't become this separate person. He definitely doesn't sin just when the pastor isn't watching, or when He is alone. He never sinned, no matter the situation. When we profess to be a Christ-follower, everything we do must reflect Christ. We are His witness to the world.

I come to you with this out of my own sin. My own testimony tainted the image of what it meant to be with Christ. I actively lived a double life, having one all my Christian friends knew about and praised me for (the Africa Tori) and the one around everyone who it "didn't matter". While I would lead Jr High small group girls or get ready for my next mission trip over seas, I was dabbling in my pleasures of the flesh to satisfy my own desires, outside of Christ.

If I couldn't give my whole life, every minute, every conversation and action, as an example of what it meant to follow Christ in our day to day life... Then I failed in what it meant to be a Christian. As I purposely committed these sins, knowing full well I shouldn't, I was shaming God's name to all, the most of which to those involved.

I am not saying a Christian will never sin. We know full well to have a sin problem, a problem we cannot overcome and that Christ saved us. What I was doing was actively and knowingly turning my back on what God wanted for me in these moments of weakness, when I needed Him the most and He could have revealed His glory to me and through me, I allowed to be overcome by sin.

I chose darkness.

Instead of crying out to God to save me, to renew my mind to His thoughts and the truth, I gave in to the "quick fix" of my desire. While I could give you the correct, Godly answers on what I should do, what would ultimately work out for God's glory and the better in the long run, I was just not caring. Which in itself was pride, thinking I knew better than God's great plan for my life. In some ways, my church upbringing made it easier to hide, because I knew just the right way to act around the right people. I disrespected those I sinned with, because I was saying they were just objects and they didn't matter as to their ultimate opinion of me. They were just there to fulfill a desire. They are a person loved by Christ every bit as much as I am. As I tainted God's image to them, I can only pray my actions will not be a hindrance to their ultimate union with Christ.

I am sorry to those I drew down the path of destruction with me. I am sorry I disrespected you and thought of you as less.

I am sorry to those who my witness hindered your growth in Christ or your union with Christ.

I am sorry that I lived so many versions of myself. I am sorry for my lies in word and action to authority and leaders, as well as the hypocrisy I had in teaching those entrusted to me.

I am sorry to have shamed the name of Christ through my sin and choices. God, I ask for your forgiveness and to accept me back into your arms again.

I promise to renew my thoughts and actions align with Christ's and to bow my desires to His throne. I promise the Victoria each of you sees will soon be the one everyone sees. I promise this Victoria will be led in every deed by Christ's will and love, that this version of me will be the best it can be.

Christ's version is, the best version of Me.

A Piece of My Heart

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.


Hebrews 12:1-3


The summer has been long, with a wide mix of emotions. Here I am, about to start my final week of camp. By God's strength, I've endured. I remember, about two or three weeks ago, I was feeling done and ready to go home. I never thought I'd make it to the end. The problems and tasks seemed so big, God felt so far. What I thought I was hearing from Him wasn't what was occurring. Trial after trial came after us, issues I've never dealt with in all of my camp ministry experience, and we wrestled with whether God wanted us to continue to endure our trials, pushing through them in the only ways we knew how, or if God was trying to shut doors we were shoving open. Personally I struggled with this, as I became sick from the stress, lost my best friend here because she decided she was done, and was lost without knowing how to improve or move forward. I struggled with feeling as though I was in an unhealthy environment, and whether I needed to take of myself, or push through. As I talked to my Dad, he reminded me about the disciples, Paul, and martyrs around the world - they weren't always in the healthiest of environments either. But God asked them to continue to lean on Him, and He will be faithful to His promises. I knew deep in my heart God had called me to this ministry. In the last week, as I pushed into Christ and the relationships around me, something new happened. Where I slammed a door shut two weeks ago with a possible future, God was slowly nudging open and showing me how I could trust Him. How what I was doing was making a difference, and how He isn't done yet. I had one final struggle (so far) though. I was empty, exhausted, and tired of taking care of everyone else. Any weekend event, I was the one responsible for everyone. All through the week, I was an intense part of keeping camp running so the counselors could focus on their kids, and as I was over young teenagers, at times I felt like a counselor myself as I worked through their problems with them. While I am so thankful for the opportunities God is giving me, to continue to pour into others, with the leaving of my best friend and one-on-one person... I was struggling to be fed. Every moment seemed like I was giving to someone else.


So yesterday, I set my boundaries and pulled back. Calling it my "no responsibility" day, I hung out in my bed. I realized I was trying to run the race God has given me, but I was trying to run it by myself. We have a policy here at camp, that when you go running, you take a partner. Today, during church service, I realized I needed to acknowledge my running partner in God, and not just continue the path on my own. He held my water and good shoes. He provides my breeze and easy trail. On the hard trails, He's there right beside me. Yesterday, into today, God not only gave me opportunities to be productive, but provided ways for me to relax. I started and finished a book, relaxing in reading wasn't something I had time for at all earlier in the summer. I was able to practice guitar a little, something else I was really missing in my busy day. I got ahead on some paperwork, folded majority of the camp laundry, and reorganized the laundry room so it wasn't daunting for everyone. I found time with a friend, as we spontaneously went swimming in our clothes and I kept dunking her because she couldn't dunk me. In all these things, I felt my spirit being filled and my hope grow. The big issues I saw, my piles of laundry and things to do, started to not seem so daunting to myself, either.


I could not believe how much God had renewed my energy. This morning, I went with some camp people to my favorite church here. It was such a relief to not feel like I had to take charge, and that we could just be a small group of friends hanging out. While in service, the pastor talked about finishing the race, with God, in intimacy with Him. How intimacy with God creates dependence on Him, leading to obedience to His voice, which ultimately leads us to joy. I realized how this summer, I was lacking joy as I thought I had my job all together, because I wasn't doing it with God. I lost sight of God wanting a say in how I managed dishes or the laundry. I saw my side of camp life as material and lacking need for the Spirit. There were times when I wouldn't give my all because I was tired, or I was hot, or it was "good enough". But God gave me a will and a renewed spirit today. I came home from church ready to continue doing laundry, cleaning up to start a new week, and finished up a few projects I kept putting off because they "weren't a huge deal". While I would normally feel exhausted, especially with how hot and humid it is, I feel joy and appreciation in getting jobs accomplished.


God showed up in another way, too. We sang the first song in worship today, and I just wasn't feeling it. At the church I go to, they only open with one song, with most of their worship at the end. I was partly scared I wouldn't have the spirit filling I needed before the start of this week. After the first song, I was just praying God would give me the experience I needed with His Spirit today. The church service continued with the fantabulous message I already talked about, but God wasn't done yet. In the last time of worship, God continued to show me pieces of Himself. Even when I can't see God, He is constant, and I need to remember His goodness, not only relying on how I feel Him in the moment, but on His promises, because His promises are always true. I was reminded of times in the past when I just felt completely embraced by God, Whether it was dancing with Him in the cornfields or seeing His beauty in a child... my God is constant, and His promises are always true, continuing to be true. The God I encountered in these Spirit filled moments is the same God I seek after in the valley of emptiness, and He will fill me again as I seek after Him.


After church, we always have an altar call of prayer time. As my time here comes to an end, I'm wondering exactly what to do next. I have some vague answers, but not any complete. As I was asking God if He wanted me to seek prayer, He said no. Don't do the altar call and ask Me to give the prayer team answers to give you. I realized I hadn't been in much prayer myself regarding this fall, and God wanted me to seek after Him myself, because He wanted to share His great plans with me. I was reminded again of how God wants an intimate relationship with me, to share His surprises and plans in my life with me. While prayer with others and for others is important, we can't forget to seek after God for ourselves, too.


As I have such a strong link to my church home here, I feel God has taught me what home really is. I would always laugh at myself as I referred to everywhere as home, whether in Madison, Uganda, Kenya, Galesburg, or Rolla, I would make so many comments about "when we get home" or "its at home" and the people around me would have to clarify where I meant, typically being back at where ever I was sleeping for the time. I see home as being where God wants me to be, and I'm thankful He has given me such a love, acceptance, and belonging in each place that I feel safe enough to call each of my adventures "home". I realized how thankful I am to have so many homes, so many places I belong, as I minister to kids who sometimes feel they have no home or place to go. So as I head home to Galesburg in a week... it hurts to be leaving home, too, and continue to pray for those who have no home to find the place they belong.






I know, this blog is a little more rambling and sporadic than most of my posts, with more topics and points than I would normally put, and still a few I left out, but I feel God wanted me to share all of it. Whether one piece or all affect you or not, I do pray something stands out, and I know God has a reason for it, if nothing other than for me to process the things He has done in these last few days. I have left a piece of my heart here, but have gained so much in return.


You're fantastic and amazing!

One Last Bag of Viva

Viva is one of my favorite foods. The trouble? This delicious cereal (though I eat it like candy) is only available in Europe, specifically purchased by me in Romania. When I went almost a year ago, I brought home something like 12 bags of this heaven on earth. A day or two would go by, and I'd eat some more. Share it with friends or give it to my fellow Romania travelers, having already run out of their stash. Slowly, my pile decreased, until only one bag of chocolaty goodness remained.

I remember thinking I would use it to celebrate. Something. Maybe I'd open it at new year's, but that passed by with me wanting to have it on the day I left for Africa instead. Then, I thought, this bag will taste even better if I waited until I got HOME from Africa, as that'd be a great accomplishment. Upon coming home, though, I pushed off the award for something else. And then other events would pass by, and I always would put the bag away, thinking the next accomplishment would be truly worth the prize.

Having brought the bag with me to camp, I thought I would use it to celebrate the first successful week with campers. The week passed by, and I decided I would enjoy my last bag on a rainy day, as a pick me up instead, as a reward of having made it through a day I struggled.

As days have passed, some more stressful then others, others more stressful than that, the bag lays in my secret food stash. Every night, I justify myself in why I could open my last bag of Viva. This happened, this broke, I'm sick, I'm grieving.... but each night, I remembered how I made it through, and how days will be better. How this honestly was not the worst day ever, and how more things could have gone wrong, but didn't. I remember the little joys, of a baby held or the face on my staff when they learn a new skill. So I put the bag away, close the chapter of the day, and look forward to the sunrise of a new story, with some new adventure.

Although, at the end of this summer... I better enjoy the bag of Viva before what was fantastic turns into a stomach ache :)

Go? No!

I could hear God's voice in my ear...
"Go, Tori. I want this for you."
"I don't want to. I don't need it, I'm okay."
"Will you please let me show you something?"

Sunday morning, I visited a new church with a friend. After two weeks of training at camp, I was exhausted and woke up with a raging sore throat, headache, and nausea. I knew it wasn't going to be a good way to start the first week with campers.

The church was absolutely fantastic. While it wasn't quite the cleanest on worship, and the speaker wasn't quite what I was used to (she also wore her sunglasses on her head the whole time... whoops!), I could feel the Holy Spirit moving. The service had a time for praying for another church in the community, as well as time to receive prayer at the alter.

As the time for prayer came, I knew God was calling me to ask for prayer. To receive healing, as well as His blessing into this next week. I felt my anxiety rising. I did not want to go. A completely new church, in a new state, with a friend I have really just met and didn't know how she would react or think of me making such a bold move.

I know God wishes for my obedience. As I attempted to reason with Him, to have the voice in my head be content with staying in my pew, a lyric from the worship set enters my mind.

"When you say go, I will go. When you say wait, I will wait"

And while I don't remember the rest of it, I remembered enough. I had just sang my praises, my commitment and promise to Christ. That when He said to go, I promised I would go!

Up to the alter I went. Onto my knees I fell. Tears fell for no reason other than God's grace and patience. A woman I didn't know prayed for me, and as she prayed for healing, rebuking the enemy in his silly schemes against my health, my throat was soothed. In a moment, my raging pain had ceased. Glory to God!!

While I still had my headache and nausea, God showed me so much. He is the Healer. He is asking me to be dependent on Him, to continually ask for healing and seek after His direction. When He says go, I have got to Go!!




A little more on this church family: My friend and I were welcomed into a home if we had no place to stay on the weekend (we do, but it was super amazing, too!) and when we went out for lunch, a group of older couples from the church invited us over to their table. The church home felt right, and we felt completely welcome. They, and we, are so excited to see each other at church again on Sunday, and to find a community home in a land so far from our own.

I cannot thank God enough for His healing, provision, and loving community. Yay, God!!!!