A Humble Thanksgiving

"I'm thankful for the opportunities and circumstances I am blessed with, from being born exactly where I was to being made exactly how I am to being put in character building situations. Because of all this, I am and continue to grow in being fully equipped to glorify Christ. Oh, I'm also thankful for Dutch Blitz and for the fluffiest, most cuddly blanket ever."

Last night, we had our Thanksgiving Love Feast. A full Thanksgiving meal, with turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and apple pie. I especially love sparkling cider and hot spiced apple cider. Good stomach prep for family Thanksgiving next week. During the meal, we had great fellowship and talking with each other about our different family traditions. Some of ours focus more on football, others the parade, while I'm always excited about spending time with family and the great food. We also wrote on a little paper leaf what we were thankful for. After the meal, we all went up to the microphone and read off our leaf before placing it on the Thanksgiving tree.

As I sat watching everyone give thanks, I wondered why I was nervous. I'm just saying what I'm thankful for, and in my heart, I'm thankful for a lot. Why couldn't I just get up and say it? The ultimate issue came down to pride. Completely stupid and unchristian, but yes. I felt stage fright, which really boils down to not wanting to look like an idiot and embarrass myself (pride), but admitting thankfulness for something takes humility. While this doesn't seem to take a lot of humility, the act of thankfulness is a humble expression of gratitude.

I'm reminded of times I didn't thank someone, just because I was upset with them. My pride got in the way of expressing gratitude. I recall an instance when before Dad left for work, we had a huge fight that wasn't resolved before we had to leave. The next morning (Dad works night shift), I woke up to find apple juice on the counter. Dad had bought it for me on his way home, and dropped it off before he went off to run other errands.

Dang it.

Completely thankful for the apple juice, yet I did not want to tell him so. In my pride, I didn't even want to talk to him. I wanted him to apologize to me first, because I was "wronged". At the time, this gift of apple juice felt like manipulation, like now I had to respond and gift him with something, because I was in debt to him. In reality, my Dad was loving me, knowing that I loved apple juice and had wished for it a few days before. The Holy Spirit convicted me, and I thanked Dad for the apple juice... as well as apologized to him for the fight the night before. With this act of thankfulness and humility, I broke the chains of pride and arrogance and allowed a relationship to be healed.

We will also not give thanks if we feel we deserve or are entitled to what we are given. Here at the base, we get three meals a day (with enough left overs to make it five meals, our cooks are amazing). I can look at this situation and go "I deserve the food. I paid for this food anyway, was told to come live in community... of course they will give me food". This attitude comes out of a place of pride. My situation and food provision, as well as people willing to make the food so I can go to class, are blessings, not entitlements. When we humble ourselves to realize all things are a gift and a blessing, we are thankful for what we have been given and blessed with. As I learn and have a heart for at-risk children, I give thanks more and more for where I was born and the family I was born into. These aren't something I deserved or was entitled to, or simple coincidences... it was a blessing and a gift. Coming to this place of humility, I begin to really appreciate and take care of what I have. This, in turn, blesses others as I try to give them what was given to me.

You see, humility and thankfulness go hand in hand. As I grow in humility, I give thanks for the blessings I have been given. As I give thanks, I am humbled and see myself as I truly am, a daughter who is blessed in order to bless others.

Who doesn't love being thanked and appreciated for something they did? So I challenge you to do unto others as you would have them do, and give thanks to someone today. I promise you will love the feeling you get as you see their happiness in being appreciated.


"Do first, then teach" is one of the foundational principles of YWAM. So, I'll go first in this challenge. Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for your prayer and financial support, and I thank you for your love and understanding as I share this journey with you.

God Bless, and have a happy Thanksgiving!

Have We Done Enough?

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" James 1:27

"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause." Isaiah 1:17

"If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?" James 2:15-16

"You shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless." Exodus 22:21-24

“‘Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’" Deuteronomy 27:19

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12

"He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing."Deuteronomy 10:18

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:5-6

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

The Old Testament refers to "orphans" and "fatherless" forty-one times. These are only a small sampling on God's heart for these lovely creations, ones who have been forgotten, stepped on, and exploited by many.

There are so many ways I could go on with this, but I think I mainly want to focus on two issues that really stirred my heart, especially because I don't see the American church doing much about them.

The first is foster care in the United States. I personally know of two foster families. Two, out of all the Christian families I know. There are about 400,000 kids in the foster care system with more than 100,000 kids waiting for adoption... and a few of these homes are not the most ideal. These kids have gone through abuse, loss of parents, neglect, drugs, physical and mental disabilities... and end up traveling around a foster care system, trying to find someone to love them. 8,000 of these kids a year will either die or run away, probably into prostitution and gangs. What would Jesus do? What is he calling us to do? Jesus said "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven to those who are like these children" -Matthew 19:14 There is a family for every child who needs to be adopted, the question is, have you opened your heart? Most of us fear the pain of a child having to leave our home, sometimes going back to the very people the child was pulled away from. It hurts. But is selfishly avoiding pain we say we can handle through Christ worth more than loving our neighbor, one of God's greatest commandments? These kids are in the system. That's a fact. The variable is whether these kids are placed in Christian, loving families- ones we can provide- or are they placed in something less ideal? The body of Christ can provide safe, stable families- but are we? And do our peers, our fellow Christian brothers and sisters, supporting the foster families around us?
"For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger and you didn't take Me in; I was naked and you didn't clothe Me... Whatever you did not do for the least of these, you did not do for Me" Matthew 25:42-43, 45.

With my other focus... hear me out, and don't shove me out of the church yet.

Are you really pro-life, or are you just anti-abortion?

Do we act as though life begins at conception and ends at death- or simply ends at birth? 
"We fight and fight for the unborn but do relatively little for children who are dying every day from lack of clean water, food, or proper shelter."

As a church, have we provided the support single, low income, or scared women need to truly choose life? What about those mothers who are told their children will have disabilities- does she feel supported? Is the sin of premarital sex and shame over pregnancy, shame the church gives, truly more important than supporting a life? Are some women truly left with an option, or has the church abandoned supporting life for an anti-death stance? If I want a life to be saved, am I actually providing the support and the means for that life? How many mothers would have made a different choice if they truly felt they would have the support in that choice? Is the choice really a choice if a mother feels like she has no other option? I think so many mothers are on this path not because they "wanted to murder", but because they felt they had no other option.

Am I saying abortion is okay? No. It is a sin. I acknowledge it is wrong. But we are human beings with free will. We are allowed to make a choice. It isn't in my right as a Christian to take away free will, especially one the ruling government has already allowed. No, I wouldn't make the same choice, but I'm also not in her life and circumstances. As a church, I don't see us providing support to many of the girls who end up in these situations. We condemn the sin, which in most cases (of any sin) simply leads to more sin. Honestly... it would have been tough for me. Do I risk the shame and condemnation for premarital sex and getting pregnant, or do I hide it and have an abortion? I question the support the church should, as a Christ-like body, provide. I honestly wondered if I would have continued to be loved and accepted, welcomed in the church. I am not saying we condone the sin of premarital sex. I'm asking that we show love, as Jesus showed love, and justice, as Jesus showed justice. If we truly say we are prolife, we must be loving and caring for every pregnant woman, regardless of marital status. We must love and care for the child, regardless of physical and psychological challenges that child may run into.

Honestly, I wonder what I would have done. The "right" choice? Keep the baby. I know. I agree. But how much does the church cheer over this decision, or am I still left without support, dealing with the shame the next 9 months, even though Christ has forgiven me? Some say supporting me would communicate that sin isn't taken seriously and all young people should go have sex. But I question, at what cost? A baby's life, or death, is on the line!

 Do we accept the girl who had an abortion before she came to know Christ, or do our pro-life messages of murder and sin have her feeling condemned, shamed, and unloved? Does she risk not being accepted if she searches for the help she needs to overcome this trauma? She has repented- just as the rest of us have from our "better" sins of lying, stealing, drugs, and whatever else... because none of us are perfect.

Am I really in the right when I judge those who support abortion, calling them names, threatening them, bombings and shootings happening? Does that honestly reflect the desire of God's heart? Two wrongs do not make a right!

Are we really making a difference picketing in front of abortion clinics, "raining down God's judgement", or would we make more of a difference if we made a greater statement, one of action, on the sanctity of life. This does go back to foster care and adoption- if we take life seriously, getting every adoptable child out of foster care and into a loving family will always speak greater than me standing on the sidewalk with a sign of condemnation.

These women are our neighbors. The abortion doctors, our neighbors. The planned parenthood people? Oh, yeh, they're our neighbors too. God calls us to love them.

I apologize for my ranting, but I hope I have given you something to think about. Ask God yourself what he really wants you to do and feel. What is right in these types of situations? Seek God's heart and desire, I promise you will find it (Matthew 7:8)

Further reading, and what truly started my heart stirring, is a book by Johnny Carr called Orphan Justice. He tackles more of these two topics, as well as orphans and racism, HIV/AIDS, human trafficking, orphanages, poverty, spiritual warfare, as well as orphans and the church. (Side note: we spend millions on buildings and mortgages in American churches... yet let the orphan girl starve because she couldn't afford the $250 surgery to repair her cleft lip and open palate. Where are our priorities, again?)

Honestly? I don't blame the church. "Forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34) We haven't been made aware of these issues. So I ask you, educate yourself, and be obedient to what Christ is asking you to do. Jesus loves you!

Creative Glory

I am an INFJ.

Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging.

Being an academic thinker, wanting black and white reasoning, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong in seemingly every relationship/friendship I had, this answer helped tremendously.

Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world?

Introvert: I need my space! I saw that my need for alone time, to recoup by myself (typically with music or a book) is perfectly okay! During Go Conference, I had no alone time. By the last day, I was completely emotional and randomly crying for apparently no reason. Gee... maybe I need my introvert time. So this last week, I made and demanded time for myself. Not in a mean way, but just in a way respecting my boundaries, knowing what is best for me and those around me. This is in opposite to Extrovert, the type of people who recharge and get their energy from being around people.

Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning?

Intuitive: This one is a little harder to explain, because I am beginning to understand it. Myer's Briggs Foundation defines it as "Paying the most attention to impressions or the meaning and patterns of the information I get. I would rather learn by thinking a problem through than by hands-on experience. I'm interested in new things and what might be possible, so that I think more about the future than the past. I like to work with symbols or abstract theories, even if I don't know how I will use them. I remember events more as an impression of what it was like than as actual facts or details of what happened." I completely agree! Counter to this is Sensing, which is "Paying attention to physical reality, what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I'm concerned with what is actual, present, current, and real. I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I like to see the practical use of things and learn best when I see how to use what I'm learning. Experience speaks to me louder than words." I haven't quite seen the implications of this, but I am excited to learn more!

Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? ((Note: Thinking does not mean intelligence, just as feeling does not mean emotions))

Feeling: So far, this aspect has been what solved so many of the issues I was having. As I think about it, too, this along with intuitive did cause the issues. I would read between the lines, see the meaning behind the actual words said, and look at who was saying them in what circumstances. I would put more weight in my decisions based on personal concerns and people involved. Several of my friends are Thinking, where they analyze pros and cons and would rather be consistent and logical instead of worrying about values or what's best for the people involved. Whereas thinkers are impersonal, not allowing there own wishes or others influence them, I am wanting to establish and maintain harmony.
Because of this personality trait, I don't always make myself clear to others because I am worried about their feelings. Or, with my thinking friends, I would assume they knew I was upset because of what they had told me, when they really thought I was okay based on how the conversation went, forgetting what the implications of that truth may be.  Now that I have this figured out, I can communicate clearly with my thinking friends so neither of us end up hurt or confused.

Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? Do you prefer a more structured and decided lifestyle (Judging) or a more flexible and adaptable lifestyle (Perceiving)?

Judging: Because this is one of the more complicated ones, I will again copy information direct from Myer's-Briggs. Its complicated because of this concept: The J or P preference only tells which preference the person extraverts. One person may feel very orderly/structured (J) on the inside, yet their outer life looks spontaneous and adaptable (P). Another person may feel very curious and open-ended (P) in their inner world, yet their outer life looks more structured or decided (J). This next definition of Judging describes me perfectly: I use my decision-making (Judging) preference (whether it is Thinking or Feeling) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible. Since this pair only describes what I prefer in the outer world, I may, inside, feel flexible and open to new information (which I am). Also, don't confuse Judging with judgmental, in its negative sense about people and events. They are not related.

As I study these more, even in just writing this, I am amazed in how simple, yet complex God created us. We all fit into one of 16 Myer's-Briggs personality types, some to different degrees than others. I saw how I am and how I am to relate to others, as well as be more loving to myself and those around me as I learn more about them and what makes them feel comfortable.

With that, here's a brief description of how my four letters interact to describe my personality: Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.

Some famous INFJ's:

Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Nicole Kidman, Jimmy Carter, Mel Gibson, “James Wilson” from House M.D.

As I learn more about personality and how the heart/brain works, I am further glorifying God is His creativity. As I learn more and more, I marvel at how creative our God is. Our differences show us His glory and vast beauty.. I, for one, am so ready to see more as I meet more people and see a completely new culture overseas. I can barely contain my excitement and eagerness!