Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
As we get ready for Christmas here in the states, I thought it'd be fun to look at how Christmas is celebrated in Kenya and Uganda, since I'll be headed over there in 12 days:)

 

Uganda

As I did some research, I found that much of the Ugandan traditions are similar to ours, especially as Uganda becomes more westernized. Only recently has gift giving and Santa Claus become popular over there, whereas it seems they have had Christmas trees for quite some time. There were a few traditions, though not as popular now, that I did find interesting. For instance, Ugandans used to decorate with balloons, cotton and colored toilet paper. As more families replace their real trees with artificial ones, the new year tradition of burning the Christmas tree is also going to the wayside. Personally, I would consider letting my future household have a real Christmas tree if it meant I could burn it a few days later:)

KENYA

In Kenya, the focus is not on materialism and commercialism, but really focuses on the celebration of the birth of Jesus. While they do use fake snow to decorate, other aspects of Christmas like Santa or trees are not present. Christmas is one of the most cherished holidays of the year. Commonly, people leave the cities, like Nairobi, and travel to their parents and grandparents out in the villages.

 

 

As I continued looking around online, I thought it would be fun to see some of the more... unique traditions from around the world.

 

Austria/nearby areas: Santa has a twin, named Krampus Night, whose job it is to beat and punish children who misbehave.

Spain, Portugal, Italy: As a part of the nativity, a Caganer (shitter in English) is included in the corner. The Caganer is a figurine, traditionally of a man, in the act of defecating, pants around his knees bending over with pile of feces at his heels. While once in traditional dress, the Caganer has changed to look like predominant political figures.

Norway: Households hide their brooms and men fire a shotgun outside to thwart witches and evil spirits on Christmas Day.

Japan: Reservations will be made at the nearby Kentucky Fried Chicken for a traditional Christmas meal.

Ukraine: An artificial spider and web are hidden in the tree and good luck is given to the one who finds it. A Ukrainian folk tale says that a poor widowed mother could not afford decorations for her family’s Christmas tree. One Christmas morning she awoke to find a spider had beautifully decorated the tree with its web, making for a very happy Christmas.

 

 

What traditions does your family have? Do you know why that tradition exists? In my own family, we always have a birthday cake for Jesus, where we sing "Happy Birthday" and read the Christmas story.

 

Have a merry Christmas and a happy 2015!!

 



God Help the Outcasts

♫ I don't know if You can hear me
Or if You're even there
I don't know if You would listen
To a gypsy's prayer
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to you
Still I see Your face and wonder
Were You once an outcast too?
I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and downtrod
I thought we all were
The children of God
God help the outcasts
Children of God ♫ – God Help the Outcasts, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

December 5 (last Friday) my school held a Hot Cocoa Thon. In this event, we bless the community by handing out 1000 cups of hot chocolate on the streets of downtown Madison. The temperature that evening dropped below freezing. We split up into four teams and handed out all the cups in about an hour. As we handed out cups, we were blessed by the conversations and connections we made with the community, especially the outcasts of society.

My team handed out the steaming hot beverage by the capital building. As soon as we got there, I saw Henry. Homeless, he had all his belongings with him as he settled in for the night at the bus stop nearby. Hot chocolate in hand, I walked over and gave it to him. Henry was so thankful for the warmth. He and I had a few moments of conversation before he laid down to sleep on his bench. In some ways, I gained some faith in our society as everyone let him be and no one told him to leave. In others, I watched people completely ignore him or give him mean, disgusted looks. Although I didn't have a chance to hear a lot of Henry's story, I know everyone has one, and everyone deserves some decent respect.

I also met George and Matthew as I was passing out the cups. George was under the heat of a vent behind an Ian's Pizza, so he was warm and the air smelled good. He wasn't there long, but he when I did see him, he was always willing to help people out and give them directions. He would say hello to all that walked by, while only a few would bother to even smile back. I was sad to not have more of a conversation, but I do hope he slept warm that night. A little after, we met Matthew. He was waiting for the bus to come, but wanting to tell us how encouraged he was by what we were doing. He kept thanking us and blessing us for being a blessing for the community. I was happy to be doing what I was doing, but having someone else encourage us in it made it mean so much more.

Philip. Oh, Philip. Where do I start with this crazy, awesome man. Another member of our group came along this man and later told us his story. Philip had a space in the shelter that night, but because of his drinking was asked to leave. He had something wrong with his foot (along the lines of a broken ankle or foot, from what I could tell), so he had crutches, but couldn't use them because the pad to the top of one somehow went missing. He ended up praying with us before we left (as our cups had run out) and he would say how we were in his house now, as we stood on the street. Although he was very abrasive and coarse, and perhaps offensive at times, he was harmless and pretty sweet as well. Yet, homeless and slightly drunk, injured and rough, he is a man avoided by many on the streets.

Some were connections we were able to further. There was a couple, where the man questioned if we had spiked the hot chocolate (we actually got this response a lot). The woman quickly rebuked him, saying no, that she had had our good hot chocolate before at FreakFest, our Halloween outreach event. She remembered Christ's goodness and hospitality she experienced then and was encouraged to experience it again. Much of Madison society, especially among the church, is against FreakFest and shuns the participants because it is an event full of drinking and drugs. You could say they are the outcasts of a typical church.

Another group met a lasting connection. There was a military man who was in the season of deeply questioning his faith in Christ. I hear this trial is one common in the military and that many fall away from Christ. He was so excited to meet us and hear what we are doing. The next night, a group actually met with him and went ice skating, having some great conversations. He's even coming and visiting our school later this week, with talk he may join my team for a week in Uganda. Before this event, he didn't have Christian friends to surround himself with. Now, many of our team has made a great connection, and Christ willing, have encouraged this man and cemented him into the faith. He is so curious, wanting to learn more about YWAM. Our team's current prayer is for God to guide him to his next step in faith, which could even be a DTS in the next few years.

Have you ever wondered what life Jesus would have had today? Where, or to who He would have been born? Born to an unmarried, poor woman. A refugee after they fled to Egypt to escape from Herod. At the time, homeless, born in a stable, the low of the low. Guys, Jesus was an outcast. He came to show us that even the least of these, our outcasts in society, are worthy of him, are worthy of the Kingdom of God. If we wish to be like Christ, to live as Jesus lived, we must love all of those around us, love that can be shown simply through a cup of hot chocolate and a conversation.

Another group met

A Humble Thanksgiving

"I'm thankful for the opportunities and circumstances I am blessed with, from being born exactly where I was to being made exactly how I am to being put in character building situations. Because of all this, I am and continue to grow in being fully equipped to glorify Christ. Oh, I'm also thankful for Dutch Blitz and for the fluffiest, most cuddly blanket ever."

Last night, we had our Thanksgiving Love Feast. A full Thanksgiving meal, with turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and apple pie. I especially love sparkling cider and hot spiced apple cider. Good stomach prep for family Thanksgiving next week. During the meal, we had great fellowship and talking with each other about our different family traditions. Some of ours focus more on football, others the parade, while I'm always excited about spending time with family and the great food. We also wrote on a little paper leaf what we were thankful for. After the meal, we all went up to the microphone and read off our leaf before placing it on the Thanksgiving tree.

As I sat watching everyone give thanks, I wondered why I was nervous. I'm just saying what I'm thankful for, and in my heart, I'm thankful for a lot. Why couldn't I just get up and say it? The ultimate issue came down to pride. Completely stupid and unchristian, but yes. I felt stage fright, which really boils down to not wanting to look like an idiot and embarrass myself (pride), but admitting thankfulness for something takes humility. While this doesn't seem to take a lot of humility, the act of thankfulness is a humble expression of gratitude.

I'm reminded of times I didn't thank someone, just because I was upset with them. My pride got in the way of expressing gratitude. I recall an instance when before Dad left for work, we had a huge fight that wasn't resolved before we had to leave. The next morning (Dad works night shift), I woke up to find apple juice on the counter. Dad had bought it for me on his way home, and dropped it off before he went off to run other errands.

Dang it.

Completely thankful for the apple juice, yet I did not want to tell him so. In my pride, I didn't even want to talk to him. I wanted him to apologize to me first, because I was "wronged". At the time, this gift of apple juice felt like manipulation, like now I had to respond and gift him with something, because I was in debt to him. In reality, my Dad was loving me, knowing that I loved apple juice and had wished for it a few days before. The Holy Spirit convicted me, and I thanked Dad for the apple juice... as well as apologized to him for the fight the night before. With this act of thankfulness and humility, I broke the chains of pride and arrogance and allowed a relationship to be healed.

We will also not give thanks if we feel we deserve or are entitled to what we are given. Here at the base, we get three meals a day (with enough left overs to make it five meals, our cooks are amazing). I can look at this situation and go "I deserve the food. I paid for this food anyway, was told to come live in community... of course they will give me food". This attitude comes out of a place of pride. My situation and food provision, as well as people willing to make the food so I can go to class, are blessings, not entitlements. When we humble ourselves to realize all things are a gift and a blessing, we are thankful for what we have been given and blessed with. As I learn and have a heart for at-risk children, I give thanks more and more for where I was born and the family I was born into. These aren't something I deserved or was entitled to, or simple coincidences... it was a blessing and a gift. Coming to this place of humility, I begin to really appreciate and take care of what I have. This, in turn, blesses others as I try to give them what was given to me.

You see, humility and thankfulness go hand in hand. As I grow in humility, I give thanks for the blessings I have been given. As I give thanks, I am humbled and see myself as I truly am, a daughter who is blessed in order to bless others.

Who doesn't love being thanked and appreciated for something they did? So I challenge you to do unto others as you would have them do, and give thanks to someone today. I promise you will love the feeling you get as you see their happiness in being appreciated.


"Do first, then teach" is one of the foundational principles of YWAM. So, I'll go first in this challenge. Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for your prayer and financial support, and I thank you for your love and understanding as I share this journey with you.

God Bless, and have a happy Thanksgiving!

Have We Done Enough?

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" James 1:27

"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause." Isaiah 1:17

"If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?" James 2:15-16

"You shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless." Exodus 22:21-24

“‘Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’" Deuteronomy 27:19

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12

"He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing."Deuteronomy 10:18

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:5-6

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

The Old Testament refers to "orphans" and "fatherless" forty-one times. These are only a small sampling on God's heart for these lovely creations, ones who have been forgotten, stepped on, and exploited by many.

There are so many ways I could go on with this, but I think I mainly want to focus on two issues that really stirred my heart, especially because I don't see the American church doing much about them.

The first is foster care in the United States. I personally know of two foster families. Two, out of all the Christian families I know. There are about 400,000 kids in the foster care system with more than 100,000 kids waiting for adoption... and a few of these homes are not the most ideal. These kids have gone through abuse, loss of parents, neglect, drugs, physical and mental disabilities... and end up traveling around a foster care system, trying to find someone to love them. 8,000 of these kids a year will either die or run away, probably into prostitution and gangs. What would Jesus do? What is he calling us to do? Jesus said "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven to those who are like these children" -Matthew 19:14 There is a family for every child who needs to be adopted, the question is, have you opened your heart? Most of us fear the pain of a child having to leave our home, sometimes going back to the very people the child was pulled away from. It hurts. But is selfishly avoiding pain we say we can handle through Christ worth more than loving our neighbor, one of God's greatest commandments? These kids are in the system. That's a fact. The variable is whether these kids are placed in Christian, loving families- ones we can provide- or are they placed in something less ideal? The body of Christ can provide safe, stable families- but are we? And do our peers, our fellow Christian brothers and sisters, supporting the foster families around us?
"For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger and you didn't take Me in; I was naked and you didn't clothe Me... Whatever you did not do for the least of these, you did not do for Me" Matthew 25:42-43, 45.

With my other focus... hear me out, and don't shove me out of the church yet.

Are you really pro-life, or are you just anti-abortion?

Do we act as though life begins at conception and ends at death- or simply ends at birth? 
"We fight and fight for the unborn but do relatively little for children who are dying every day from lack of clean water, food, or proper shelter."

As a church, have we provided the support single, low income, or scared women need to truly choose life? What about those mothers who are told their children will have disabilities- does she feel supported? Is the sin of premarital sex and shame over pregnancy, shame the church gives, truly more important than supporting a life? Are some women truly left with an option, or has the church abandoned supporting life for an anti-death stance? If I want a life to be saved, am I actually providing the support and the means for that life? How many mothers would have made a different choice if they truly felt they would have the support in that choice? Is the choice really a choice if a mother feels like she has no other option? I think so many mothers are on this path not because they "wanted to murder", but because they felt they had no other option.

Am I saying abortion is okay? No. It is a sin. I acknowledge it is wrong. But we are human beings with free will. We are allowed to make a choice. It isn't in my right as a Christian to take away free will, especially one the ruling government has already allowed. No, I wouldn't make the same choice, but I'm also not in her life and circumstances. As a church, I don't see us providing support to many of the girls who end up in these situations. We condemn the sin, which in most cases (of any sin) simply leads to more sin. Honestly... it would have been tough for me. Do I risk the shame and condemnation for premarital sex and getting pregnant, or do I hide it and have an abortion? I question the support the church should, as a Christ-like body, provide. I honestly wondered if I would have continued to be loved and accepted, welcomed in the church. I am not saying we condone the sin of premarital sex. I'm asking that we show love, as Jesus showed love, and justice, as Jesus showed justice. If we truly say we are prolife, we must be loving and caring for every pregnant woman, regardless of marital status. We must love and care for the child, regardless of physical and psychological challenges that child may run into.

Honestly, I wonder what I would have done. The "right" choice? Keep the baby. I know. I agree. But how much does the church cheer over this decision, or am I still left without support, dealing with the shame the next 9 months, even though Christ has forgiven me? Some say supporting me would communicate that sin isn't taken seriously and all young people should go have sex. But I question, at what cost? A baby's life, or death, is on the line!

 Do we accept the girl who had an abortion before she came to know Christ, or do our pro-life messages of murder and sin have her feeling condemned, shamed, and unloved? Does she risk not being accepted if she searches for the help she needs to overcome this trauma? She has repented- just as the rest of us have from our "better" sins of lying, stealing, drugs, and whatever else... because none of us are perfect.

Am I really in the right when I judge those who support abortion, calling them names, threatening them, bombings and shootings happening? Does that honestly reflect the desire of God's heart? Two wrongs do not make a right!

Are we really making a difference picketing in front of abortion clinics, "raining down God's judgement", or would we make more of a difference if we made a greater statement, one of action, on the sanctity of life. This does go back to foster care and adoption- if we take life seriously, getting every adoptable child out of foster care and into a loving family will always speak greater than me standing on the sidewalk with a sign of condemnation.

These women are our neighbors. The abortion doctors, our neighbors. The planned parenthood people? Oh, yeh, they're our neighbors too. God calls us to love them.

I apologize for my ranting, but I hope I have given you something to think about. Ask God yourself what he really wants you to do and feel. What is right in these types of situations? Seek God's heart and desire, I promise you will find it (Matthew 7:8)

Further reading, and what truly started my heart stirring, is a book by Johnny Carr called Orphan Justice. He tackles more of these two topics, as well as orphans and racism, HIV/AIDS, human trafficking, orphanages, poverty, spiritual warfare, as well as orphans and the church. (Side note: we spend millions on buildings and mortgages in American churches... yet let the orphan girl starve because she couldn't afford the $250 surgery to repair her cleft lip and open palate. Where are our priorities, again?)

Honestly? I don't blame the church. "Forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34) We haven't been made aware of these issues. So I ask you, educate yourself, and be obedient to what Christ is asking you to do. Jesus loves you!

Creative Glory

I am an INFJ.

Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging.

Being an academic thinker, wanting black and white reasoning, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong in seemingly every relationship/friendship I had, this answer helped tremendously.

Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world?

Introvert: I need my space! I saw that my need for alone time, to recoup by myself (typically with music or a book) is perfectly okay! During Go Conference, I had no alone time. By the last day, I was completely emotional and randomly crying for apparently no reason. Gee... maybe I need my introvert time. So this last week, I made and demanded time for myself. Not in a mean way, but just in a way respecting my boundaries, knowing what is best for me and those around me. This is in opposite to Extrovert, the type of people who recharge and get their energy from being around people.

Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning?

Intuitive: This one is a little harder to explain, because I am beginning to understand it. Myer's Briggs Foundation defines it as "Paying the most attention to impressions or the meaning and patterns of the information I get. I would rather learn by thinking a problem through than by hands-on experience. I'm interested in new things and what might be possible, so that I think more about the future than the past. I like to work with symbols or abstract theories, even if I don't know how I will use them. I remember events more as an impression of what it was like than as actual facts or details of what happened." I completely agree! Counter to this is Sensing, which is "Paying attention to physical reality, what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I'm concerned with what is actual, present, current, and real. I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I like to see the practical use of things and learn best when I see how to use what I'm learning. Experience speaks to me louder than words." I haven't quite seen the implications of this, but I am excited to learn more!

Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? ((Note: Thinking does not mean intelligence, just as feeling does not mean emotions))

Feeling: So far, this aspect has been what solved so many of the issues I was having. As I think about it, too, this along with intuitive did cause the issues. I would read between the lines, see the meaning behind the actual words said, and look at who was saying them in what circumstances. I would put more weight in my decisions based on personal concerns and people involved. Several of my friends are Thinking, where they analyze pros and cons and would rather be consistent and logical instead of worrying about values or what's best for the people involved. Whereas thinkers are impersonal, not allowing there own wishes or others influence them, I am wanting to establish and maintain harmony.
Because of this personality trait, I don't always make myself clear to others because I am worried about their feelings. Or, with my thinking friends, I would assume they knew I was upset because of what they had told me, when they really thought I was okay based on how the conversation went, forgetting what the implications of that truth may be.  Now that I have this figured out, I can communicate clearly with my thinking friends so neither of us end up hurt or confused.

Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? Do you prefer a more structured and decided lifestyle (Judging) or a more flexible and adaptable lifestyle (Perceiving)?

Judging: Because this is one of the more complicated ones, I will again copy information direct from Myer's-Briggs. Its complicated because of this concept: The J or P preference only tells which preference the person extraverts. One person may feel very orderly/structured (J) on the inside, yet their outer life looks spontaneous and adaptable (P). Another person may feel very curious and open-ended (P) in their inner world, yet their outer life looks more structured or decided (J). This next definition of Judging describes me perfectly: I use my decision-making (Judging) preference (whether it is Thinking or Feeling) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible. Since this pair only describes what I prefer in the outer world, I may, inside, feel flexible and open to new information (which I am). Also, don't confuse Judging with judgmental, in its negative sense about people and events. They are not related.

As I study these more, even in just writing this, I am amazed in how simple, yet complex God created us. We all fit into one of 16 Myer's-Briggs personality types, some to different degrees than others. I saw how I am and how I am to relate to others, as well as be more loving to myself and those around me as I learn more about them and what makes them feel comfortable.

With that, here's a brief description of how my four letters interact to describe my personality: Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.

Some famous INFJ's:

Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Nicole Kidman, Jimmy Carter, Mel Gibson, “James Wilson” from House M.D.

As I learn more about personality and how the heart/brain works, I am further glorifying God is His creativity. As I learn more and more, I marvel at how creative our God is. Our differences show us His glory and vast beauty.. I, for one, am so ready to see more as I meet more people and see a completely new culture overseas. I can barely contain my excitement and eagerness!

Spoil the Kids

Want to have a direct impact on children around the world, with my outreach team? You can help spoil the kids!


"Be joyful at your feasts together with the orphans.” Deuteronomy 16:14 At YWAM Madison, we believe that loss is not the end of the line for children at risk. We long to restore hope & joy to orphans & street kids. Our volunteer teams put great effort into spoiling these kids. We plan extravagant parties and special outings. We deliver piles of gifts, toys, and gently used clothes and shoes. We engineer craft & game times. And we are looking for your help!
http://www.ywammadison.org/childrenatrisk/spoilthekids/

Here's the wishlist:

• Craft Supplies (crayons, markers, paints, water color paints, colored paper, printer paper, construction paper, scrapbook paper, glue, glue sticks, scissors, stickers, rolls of butcher paper, one-hole punchers, decorative hole punchers, staplers & staples, tape of all kinds from scotch to duct tape, foam & foamies, sharpies of all thicknesses and colors, beads and necklace making materials, )
• New or Gently used Shoes & Clothes
• New or Gently Used Toys
• Snacks and Candies (cookie & cake mixes, pancake mixes, etc.)
• Face Paint
• Balloons (Animal balloons, water balloons and party balloons) & Balloon pumps
• Twinkle lights (or Christmas lights)
• Party goods (hats, kazoos, whistles, streamers, decorative paper plates and glasses – like with cartoon characters, plastic disposable rectangle table cloths, etc.)
• Outdoor games (bean bag toss, frisbees, etc.)
• Sports equipment (deflated balls <soccer, basketball, footballs, baseballs> + gloves & bats, volleyballs, cleats, ball pumps and needles)
• Card and board games
• Kid’s books (both story time and learning)
• Backpacks & book bags
• Mini Makeover materials for women. We often use these to spoil the workers at children at risk ministries. We have also used these to reach out to prostitutes. Often it is their kids we are working with. (Items for hair, pedicures, manicures, lotions, perfumes, jewelry, toiletries, accessories, stationery, candles)
• Goodie bags for men (combs, cologne, gel, toiletries)
• Stuffed animals
• Toiletries for kids (toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, lice shampoo)
• Kid’s & Adult Vitamins
• Paint Brushes and paints and canvases to use for murals

Want a family option?
Plan a Party in a Bag
Party in a Bag Planners come up with a party idea for our outreach teams to use for orphans. Briefly outline your idea on paper and collect all the items necessary for our team to host that party. All these items should be put in a suitcase which should weigh less than 50 pounds.

For Example – you could plan a pirate party and collect items to make pirate hats as a craft + send sugar cookie mixes that we could make cookies for the kids in the shape of treasure chests and send little candies along to decorate the cookies as the treasures. You also might want to throw in a few cookie cutters! You get the idea. Let your imagination go wild. :D

This is a great event for youth groups, classrooms, or other ministry groups to have a service project. I can even bring back pictures, as I'll be involved in putting on parties for this!

I will be in town Thanksgiving Break as well as the week of Christmas (Dec 20-28ish). If you would like to donate towards this specific type of outreach, either with funds or goods, please let me know! Also, feel free to ask me any questions!

Outrageous October

I sincerely apologize for not keeping you all more updated. This last month has been so hectic and about halfway through, my laptop charger broke… so it was a struggle to do much of anything! I’m also contemplating the best way to share the things God has shown me and what I’ve learned. It’s so much every day, I have to pick out what really stood out to me.

SURVIVOR:

In extremely basic terms, Survivor was a crazy intense camping trip. Everything was going okay until the second night, when the staff (who weren’t staying with our group of 15 or so) told us a huge storm was coming and the temperature and wind chill was going to drop farther than we were prepared for. Only half our group or so was at the campsite when we found out. So a few left with an extra backpack each, leaving five of us with our supplies and the rest of the group’s supplies. We thought we would be helpful by taking ALL the supplies with us and just meet the rest of the group at the road so not everyone had to tromp back and find the campsite. So I’m carrying my backpack and sleeping bag, a backpack on my front, and a trash bag with another backpack and a sleeping bag. Now, for a twenty-minute trek, this isn’t too bad. But when you lose the barely marked trail to the road and end up being lost in the woods for an hour and half….

There’s five of us, lost in the woods. No phones, gps, radios… nothing but our flashlights and everyone’s stuff. It was raining and nighttime. We knew we had to keep moving, we had no other option. Eventually we would find something, right? About halfway through, we found an electric fence. I was ecstatic. We had a straight line to follow! And the other side of the fence was cleared farmland, so I knew following the fence would lead us to some sort of farm road. So we follow this path where we eventually see two creepy, yellow eyes. My heart skipped a beat, but I knew it was a type of farm animal. We had a Canadian girl with us, who decided it was a bear and takes off into the woods. After we slowed her down and convinced her going back to the creepy eyes was our only option, we headed back. Where we found six sets of creepy, yellow eyes staring at us. Guys, black cows in the dark are creepy. I cannot stress how creepy. At some point in this journey, I got stubborn. I had to do something. So I climbed a tree, that I swear now should not have held me. We eventually had a clear path, where we met up with our rescuers. Yay, right?! At this point, we are soaked from the steady rain falling, our feet were swimming in our shoes, and as soon as we got back to safety, all my muscles started hurting.

The glory of the story isn’t that we have a crazy awesome story to tell, but how God showed us He will take care of us, even if it isn’t in the way we envision. Right before getting lost, a staff member gave my Canadian friend a winter coat to borrow. Earlier the day, that same girl had strained a tendon severely, but didn’t know it at the time nor felt any pain the whole day, until after we were back to safety. He also gave us comfort, as none of us were cold or hurting even though we had all this weight, were wondering in the woods (I mean woods that have not been trekked through before. No paths, at all.), and it was constantly raining, so completely soaked through. He gave me safety as I stupidly climbed a tree and made it so the bull was not in the field with the cows. Because of where another group had shelter, they saw our flashlights and were able to let the staff know a more specific area, instead of acres and acres of land. He also kept us calm in crazy circumstances until we were safe. After we were found, our shelter for the night was also the best one of all of them, since we had a working bathroom, a dryer for our clothes, mattresses, and people who brought us food. We also went home the next evening, because snow was coming and the other shelters weren’t prepared for that. God is good.

KISSES FROM GOD

A few weekends ago, I experienced my first anxiety attack. It was technically my second, but the one after being lost in the woods I don’t count because I had a justifiable reason. I really don’t know why I was feeling so anxious and scared. My “safe” position, how I calm down best, is to lie down, so I’m lying down on my back in the middle of the grass. Beating myself up because I was scared and anxious for no reason, how I shouldn’t be because I am safe and God has me, I started to feel tiny rain drops on my face. Nowhere else was it raining. With each drop, I just heard God saying “I love you” and I had the understanding these raindrops were kisses from Him. I felt such a calm and peace, knowing God not only loves me but is in love with me. That He loves me not out of an obligatory love a father has for a child, but like a lover chooses to love and be in love. I still have my struggles and mistakes. I still have anxiety attacks from time to time, but becoming one with God is an exciting process and to have this moment with Him, where I truly felt His presence in this Holy Spirit moment… came just at the right time to give me the reassurance I needed to know I am right where God wants me to be, I am made in His image, and He is excited by all things I do. Thanks, God.

UGANDA

First, I’ll explain this process. They set up outreach locations in one room with some food and information, while another room was worship and prayer. We spend some time in prayer and when you feel ready, you can go to the outreach room to pick your location. We can also go back to the prayer room if need be and staff was everywhere willing to talk and pray with us.

This day was a complete gift from God. I felt valued and needed as I helped set up sound for worship and figured out why it wasn’t working. This confidence boost prepared me for what was to come. During our time of prayer before going to the outreach room, Britta and I got some struggles worked out. Britta is a staff member here, but has also been my best friend for the last seven years. It’s an interesting dynamic we are trying to work through, so this time to get a starting place for that settled some peace in my heart. After this time, we had the option to go find out outreach locations and choose, or we could stay longer in the room and pray. The prayer and worship room was solemn, dark, and quiet, for good reason, but I didn’t want that and I didn’t feel ready to find out locations yet. God told me to go outside with my mp3 and worship how I wanted. So I’m listening to tenth avenue north and spinning in circles, dancing with God. I remember thinking how my Toms were getting wet, but then God replied with “so take them off”. So I’m spinning around outside in the dark, on the wet grass, with no shoes on. It was beautiful and wonderful, and I’m extremely glad our base is out in the middle of nowhere. After this, I felt ready to find out locations for outreach.

I had no clue what I was going to do. My calling has been for Romanians, but I was wondering if God wanted me to do that with this trip. I was questioning, if Eastern Europe was an option, if that was where God wanted me to go in January and February. Well, Eastern Europe wasn’t an option, so I didn’t have to worry about that. But I had no clue where to go then. I remember immediately discounting Uganda because I have never had a desire or itching to go to Africa at all. It was never a no, Africa just never came into my mind at all. I was looking at the choices logically, until I walked up to Uganda. Here, I heard God say “This is where you are going”. Haha, what? I stood in the middle of the room, completely shocked. I was able to verbally process with the director, a process that further confirmed Uganda as God's desire for me. The director allowed me to not rank the other countries, since he was positive I was meant to go to Uganda. I am so thankful for this, because ranking the other countries would have put me back in control and would have given me a chance to back out, or to sacrifice so someone else could go. God was showing me that someone else would either sacrifice this time, or the team would be bigger, but I was going. This showed me how much of a complete hand God has in our lives. Talking to the director, I found out Eastern Europe was almost an option, but for some reason God was saying no. Britta told me, later, that she had been praying for Eastern Europe to not be an option for my sake, as she knew that wasn’t where I was supposed to go and wanted to spare me the struggle of choosing. Guys, God has a complete plan for our lives. All we have to do is listen.

PRAYING ALOUD

One of the greatest things God has shown me to work on has been praying aloud. I used to absolutely loath it. Never wanting to do it, I always felt fake and impersonal. God has since shown me a different way. We do a lot of intercessory prayer as well as praying what God brings to mind during breaks in worship. It’s these unstructured times God will sometimes bring to mind an idea or praise he wants me to declare for all to hear, and I’ve gotten so willing and obedient in this way. It gets me so excited! Currently, I’m working more on praying for another person aloud with her when I don’t know what to pray for her, depending on God to give me the words to say because I know the Holy Spirit will speak through me. I used to see praying for another person as condescending, like “I can only pray for you because I don’t have this struggle and you do”. I’m learning how to pray for my peers as equals and to not worry about judgement that may come upon me, because I am in an environment where prayer and ministry to others is so welcomed and expected. I also struggle in structured praying aloud, like praying before a meal or to conclude a service, but I’m getting there. Yesterday, I was challenged to pray aloud for myself with my mentor, and I couldn’t do it. I still view praying aloud as a ministry to those around me, so praying for myself doesn’t fulfill that purpose. I’m getting there, though. I will say, too, I have come so far. At the beginning of the month, I couldn’t do any prayer aloud at all. I prayed and prayed God would help me with this aspect, so He has provided me with so many opportunities and given me the exact words He wants me to say. I loved answered prayers about praying.

CAMP DAVID

Camp David is a camp in Missouri, ministering to the children of those in jail/criminal history. We stayed here one night, engaging in worship and intercessory prayer for this place. I cannot express how much God has blessed these people and is so pleased by what they do. I ask you to look into this camp and see if God is asking you to respond in some way, from prayer to volunteering to doing your own ministry. Even just this change in perspective, because currently these children feel ashamed for their parent’s wrongdoing. Watch yourself, keep this on your radar, and see that we become a culture that looks at the individual for the individual and not for what their family has done.

FAITH LIKE A CHILD

Christ calls us to have faith like little children. To me, this calls for obedience and willingness, trust and unconditional love, forgiveness and dependency. The goal of Christianity is not to grow up, it isn’t to slowly become more independent, taking control away from God and understanding more of what He does. It’s to be obedient, believing that when I need to understand, Christ will show me understanding. Willingness to just go for it, like a child does, not worrying about the consequences. Trusting that He has a plan and showing unconditional love to those around me, without holding their past against them. To be like a child in dependency, relying completely on God and not my own strength. Knowing He will always provide for me.

You know how overjoyed a mom gets when she receives a drawing from her child. Even though the people don’t look like people and the house is in the sky, she utterly, completely loves it and hangs it on the fridge. Even though the world looks at it as terrible, mom loves her child’s work. This idea works with God, too. He takes my accomplishments, my obedience even if I do make mistakes, and hangs it on His fridge to tell everyone “Look at what my daughter did”. A child doesn’t look at her drawing and ask mom to take it down, believing it isn’t good enough to go there. The child did her drawing to her best ability, a beautiful masterpiece. In the same way, we cannot decide what is good enough for God, when He has already said we are worthy. He takes my best and loves it, adores over it, and blesses me in my obedience.

REASON FOR THE CROSS

As I grasp God’s all-powerful, unstoppable nature, I started wondering why Christ’s sacrifice had to happen. Don’t shoot me yet, just hear me out. The concept of the cross being a “payment for sin” bewildered me. Who was this payment going to? Why was the all-powerful, creator of the universe being held back by a price tag?

Romans 5:8

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (NIV)

“But God shows his love for us…” (ESV)

“But God proves His own love for us…” (Holman)

Our hearts were so hard, we would not have repented if the innocent had not been slain. We would not have known we needed to change if we did not see Christ suffer. Because of God’s love for us, Christ died for us so our hearts would soften and turn towards Him.

When the centurion slit Jesus’ side, water and blood poured out. This is the conditions met of dying of a heart attack. Jesus didn’t die because of his suffering, or because of the weight of all our sins (seriously, an all powerful being couldn’t handle all of that?) He died because He loved us so much, His human heart burst!

His sacrifice wasn’t so a door between us and God could be opened, His sacrifice proved His love so we would repent of our sins and walk into the door.

The cost of sin wasn’t a price. It was pain on the people around us and the pain we caused God as He saw us suffering because of our own sins. Christ’s suffering showed the world how much hurt and pain our sin was causing, hurt and pain that did not have to happen. Turning away from sin leads to a better life of love for us all.

WORTH

I know I touched on this a lot with the diamond post last month (wow, that long ago?!) but a few other things reinforced the idea from the last few weeks.

I am worthy because Christ has given me worth and I was created in God’s image and likeness. How can something God created be unworthy?

I am worthy because God created me. I was born with gifts he destined for me, and I still have the choice to follow him. So I choose to use my gifts for his glory and perfect plan.

To say that I am unworthy is to say God is unworthy, because I am created in His image and likeness. No, I have not done anything to deserve worth or love, but if I had, then it would not be me that the worth would be in, but my actions and what I do. Not me, myself, nor I.

CHALLENGE

We consistently put limits on God. We believe in God, but we don’t believe God. If He so desired, He could teleport me wherever I wanted to go. He could make a thousand dollars appear in my lap. I believe He can and sometimes does do these things, but have we asked? And have we asked with the right motives? Have we recognized when our prayers were answered, but because they weren’t answered in the way we expected, we chalked it up to coincidence and said it wasn’t God? I’ve started doing this simply, by asking Christ to show me scripture. He would put a reference in mind, like Luke 3, and what the reference said would completely apply to what I needed from God at the moment. This has been a huge step for me, because if the random things in my head are not always of my own doing, then how much more around me must be revolving around God’s perfect plan?

MY LECTURE IS PAID!

The night I was lost in the woods, I found out from my dad I had received an anonymous $700 dollar donation. To that person, thank you so much! It got me the last bit I needed to have my Sept-Dec schooling paid. Thank you again to all of you that made my journey thus far possible!!

OUTREACH, ANYONE?

Traveling and ministry costs a little bit of money and a whole lot of faith. So I ask you, again, to pray and ask God if He wants you to help me minister to those in Uganda. I apologize for not having a specific number yet, largely depending on airfare, but a general estimate is $2500-$3500. As we meet in our outreach teams I will update as to what we hope to do in Uganda, but some options are working in a babie’s home and working with AIDS orphans.

Please, don’t be afraid by what you see in the news currently surrounding Uganda. We know God has called our team there and He has great work prepared for us to do. We leave with His blessing. With that, continue to pray that our presence will be welcomed and we will be safe, as well as the hearts of the people to be receptive to our love and ministry. Prayer has power. Prayer still has the power to raise the dead, cast out demons, heal the injured and sick, and perform crazy, unimaginable miracles. The God of the Bible is the same God now, with the same power and abilities, and He does continue to bless us with His power and love.

DISCLAIMER

Yes, I am crazy. Crazy in love with Christ and in an environment encouraging and burning in this growth. So while some of it won’t make sense, or seem really extreme, understand that these experiences and revelations are difficult to explain unless you’ve been there. If you have never heard God’s voice or experienced visions, then it’s hard to believe God does these things at all. I liken it kind of to The WEEKEND (those from around Galesburg understand). Until you went, it was hard to understand what everyone was talking about and do excited for. To go a weekend without a phone and time was sooo odd. Having been on it, those of us see why we do the things we do. YWAM is the same way. You guys know me and know my character, my honesty and discernment. Know that I check everything against the Bible and it all proves true. Trust me and ask God for peace and understanding, knowing that though my faith seems different, we all believe in the same God and have the same ultimate commandment: to love God and love others. Just as God reveals His name differently to different people according to their need in the old testament, God is so personal lead me down a path I will understand, be comfortable in, a cultivate the growth He has in mind. This process will look completely different in different individuals, but its my blog, so its my journey ;) J Love you guys! 

BY THE WAY....
More pictures are going up on my facebook :)
I will gladly accept mail and care packages;) Its honestly such a blessing to get an encouraging note or a picture from home. Message me if you would like the address:)
Feel free to send feedback or to ask me any questions. God is doing so much and I love to expound upon His glory and doings in the kingdom!

Prodigal God

Finally getting out of this town
Tired of the work I gotta put in
Dad's got the money anyhow
Why can't I just get it now?

Compliments always headed my way

Always doing what Daddy wants me to do

Gotta make myself look good

Eventually I'll rule this hood

Now I got my money

My friends and the fame

Need a dollar? Heck, here's a ten

Next I'm gonna own Big Ben

The good for nothin' is gone

Now I got so much more work to do

Didn't he ever think about me?

Oh yeah, Dad is crying, too. 

I've squandered it all 

Every last penny

Feedin' slop to the pigs

Will I ever get any?

Dad keeps buggin' me

Go save your brother!

Why, why should I?

All that's yours will eventually be mine

I'm gonna go back

I'll toil and slave

Work like a dog for my father

I promise I won't be a bother

Why can't Dad just leave?

Won't he please die?

I want what is rightfully mine

I hate having to bide my time

He runs to me! 

I've never seen that before

Enveloped in a deep hug

So in love, he seems high on a drug

Haven't we done enough for him?

He already took his part of the wealth!

Now he gets father's robe, his fattened calf?

I've been here, putting in time and a half!

Welcomed, accepted

Gave me a home

Recognize my father and his great love

Pleased to be his perfect, white dove

Wait, he's in the family again?

Stealing a part of my wealth?

I won't partake in this, I won't submit

I will stand out here and throw a fit!

My sons, each of you I want

Don't you see I have given all for you?

Whatever you asked, I gave it

At great cost and pain

Not only to me, but to the other, too

You ran away from me, but

Your duty won't bring you closer to me

Each caused the other pain

Now recognize your misplaced love

 let me lavish my all on you

I am a prodigal father

I spent until I had nothing left

Recklessly spendthrift as I love you

You, who nailed me to a cross

A reckless grace I have shown you

You did nothing

have nothing

Ran to those less worthy than me

Yet I choose to be in love with you

Are you ready to love me?

Worth More than a Diamond

This rock is worth $16,561,171. This little, pink hunk of stone. It did no good deeds, never said a nice thing to anyone. Never created something amazing or discovered the meaning of life. This piece of the earth has done nothing to earn its riches. Essentially, a diamond is worthless. Nothing. If we as a human race did not give it value, it would not have any. The diamond did nothing to be worth millions, but we decided this rock should cost hundreds.

This last week, we learned about hearing God’s voice. God speaks to us in many different ways, including audibly, in visions and dreams, or that little voice in our heads. As I thought about and meditated on this, I realized God has spoken to me all the time, I had just never recognized it as Him. I had always given myself the credit. A simple example is walking into the grocery store and forgetting what you needed to buy. It was super important to get this one specific item… but you cannot remember what it was! Suddenly, it comes to you. You needed peanut butter so you could make me puppy chow and send it to me (I will gladly send you my address ;) ) What I realized while talking to God during my run was that the little voice reminding me about peanut butter was Him. I wasn’t the one who remembered, God reminded me. This applies to every good thing I have done. It was not on my own accord, but God working through me. I am simply a vessel for his majesty.

We are worth nothing. After the fall of Adam and Eve, the sinful nature of humanity has ruled our race. I completely and utterly deserve death. I accept this. I understand why. I am a sinner and God cannot have sin near Him. I know Christ saved me and washed my sins away, covering me in His love so I would be with God eternally in heaven.

Yet, I am God’s princess. The apple of His eye. Somehow, though I am worth nothing and can never do anything ever to achieve any worth, God loved me and found me worthy to die for. Worthy to be accepted into His kingdom. Just as humans gave a diamond worth, Christ chose to give us worth. He decided we are worth a fortune, so He bestows on us His crown.

God has decided to crown you His daughter, to be worth more than all the diamonds in the world. Nothing I have ever done or will ever do, good or bad, will change how much Christ says I am worth. He suffered and died for me, knowing how much I would hurt him, and decided I was worth it anyway. I don’t know about you, but I think that makes me pretty valuable.

In the Cornfields

Cornfields surround me. I can run the country road, and not encounter any cars. I still hate chickens and can hear the cows moo.

I enjoy the sense of familiarity. My dorm is similar to camp cabins, since there are 16 girls staying in one room. We also eat meals together, similar to camp style, and we all help out with dishes and keeping the place clean.

We wake up early, for me anyway. Breakfast is around 715, with an hour of devotions after. Then, on some days, worship follows. Right now, worship is casual. There is no stage or sound, just an acoustic guitar and one or two people leading. In the last two sessions, we have all sat on the floor in a circle, but people are free to worship as they feel God leads them to. Many end up standing, or lifting hands. I love the freedom to do as God leads us and the security, as I know it is okay to cry. I am sure, though, that as we get more comfortable with each other, our worship will only strengthen and deepen as we glorify our Lord.

We start classes next week. With every week I am here, I earn one credit for University of the Nations. We have a different speaker and focus each week. Just about every weeknight we have homework. Five required reading books (a couple of chapters each night), a Bible Exploration (I have no idea what this is yet), and on some weeks, there are projects we have to complete that mostly relate to the book we read that week. For example, we are reading “Is That Really You, God?” by Loren Cunningham (YWAM’s founder). For this week’s project, we make a timeline of four events from Loren’s life, followed by an event of our own. Another project is an organizational one, making dividers for our binders so we stay organized during school.

This week has been Orientation Week, so I have not yet experienced the “normal” routine… if there is anything normal! Next week, we have two “normal” days, followed by Survivor Games. I have no idea what this is yet, either. We also have a week where we go to a conference and a week where one focus has camping trip in Arkansas. Therefore, I am not quite sure normal really applies… ever.

We have chores each day, called Community Responsibilities. Jobs like maintenance and grounds, janitorial, and preparing or cleaning up after meals. I clean up after lunch, doing the dishes and cleaning the dining area.

That reminds me. The food is FANTASTIC. Excitingly, all the leftovers end up in a communal fridge that I can get into whenever I want to. This food makes me happy.

We are assigned into small groups on Friday, as well as find out whom our 1 on 1 will be with. The staff assigns one of their members to meet with each student individually. I am excited to find out who my staff member will be!

Weekends are pretty lax I hear, although I have not experienced one yet. Saturdays may be filled by social activities and on Sundays, we carpool to different churches, as well as make a visit to the laundry mat.

Other things we have are movie nights, intercession time (where we pray for other countries), focus nights, worship and warfare session, Bible Hour, and outreach prep… none of which I will experience until next week.

This Saturday, we get to venture into Madison and see base there, Phos House, and do a scavenger hunt around Madison.

It is different not being special here. Allow me to explain, before you message me a rant about how we are all special and unique… blah blah blah. My grades and intelligence don’t make me stand out. I’m not the oldest, by a long shot. I’m actually one of the youngest. I don’t have to step up and be a leader among students. Everything I’ve done… others have, too. It’s not unique to have done a mission trip already or having been to a foreign country. It’s a new atmosphere, but a refreshing one. I can worry about myself, and not have any responsibilities different than anyone else. We aren’t graded on assignments, so there’s no pressure to get the A and be the best. I love the thought of losing what used to be my identity, and figuring out my God given strengths and finding my identity in Him.

Prayer requests:

-This is a facebook status from earlier today. It is a concept that God has laid on my heart recently, and I am not sure why. Please pray for me to find peace and security along this line of thought.

 

I no longer question God's love for me. I know it's insurmountable and beyond understanding. That He choose to die for me, despite how many times I would continue to hurt Him, because of His love for me. What I want to know, though, is have I pleased God in my actions? Have I glorified and honored Him? Am I following the path He laid out for me? God, are you happy with me? That's the reassurance I seek, because I know that no matter what I did, He will always love me... but does He like me?

-That I will allow myself to make mistakes and brush them off, not allowing them to distract me from my focus. It’s stupid things, like a stupid comment I made or forgetting a pen. I beat myself up over these stupid little things horribly, and I absolutely hate it. I know I need God’s help in changing this thought process.

-I allow myself to open up and cultivate relationships. That I won’t be afraid of what others think, because the only thing that matters is that I am doing what Christ wants me to do and I do it for His glory.

Funding:

Lecture Phase: YWAM records say I need 1695. I have some of this pledged, so I am really in need of about 500. Please help me meet this goal in the next few weeks!

Outreach: I am still in need of the full amount. That’s about 3500, although I don’t have a specific number. I will have more details about this once I pick where I will do my ministry.

God Bless!!

(Want to see pictures? Check out my facebook page! I'll get them on here soon)